Wednesday, April 11, 2007

So That's How You Sell Gum

Bazooka Joe's amazingly grating website has nothing on their signature comics, but plenty on their new song and dance craze!

At work we have a gum basket on our writers room table, so that after lunch we can choose from a variety of daring flavors to freshen our breath. Adam kicked it off by buying a bunch of gum one weekend and bringing in a large basket to put it all in. We have no more free soda in our new office so we have to have something fun.

The obvious result of putting a wide variety of gum on the table is that we end up chewing gum all day long. Gum lost its flavor? Why waste your time? Get a new piece! With the latest round of gum additions, we've branched out from the latest in pill-wrapped ice gum into fun and nostalgic bubble gum.

Hence the Bazooka Joe. The gum is worse than you remember, then you chew it and it's better than you thought it would be, then it gets old and it's pretty much what you'd expect. The comics, which were full-color (or at least 3-color) when I was a kid, are now monochromatic blue. Today Sarah got one that went something like this:

Mort: Bazooka Joe, how do you balance homework and skateboarding?

Reveal Bazooka Joe is riding a skateboard while holding a book open with one hand.

Bazooka Joe:
It ain't easy!

An even better one that I got last week had Bazooka Joe complaining to Mort that he would have to have a chaperone on his date.

Mort: Uh-oh, who? Your Mom? Your Dad?

Bazooka Joe: Worse!

Reveal a dog with a chauffeur's cap, twirling a keychain and winking at the reader!

Dog (thought balloon): Maybe I can get them to go by the dog run!

Wow! Just wow. We all know how rough those dog chaperones are, right? Always dragging us to dog runs. He'll be lucky if he even gets close to that girl! Bazooka Joe's parents are strict, all right.



Tommaso Sciortino said...

I'd forgotten that Bazooka Joe wore an eye-patch. He's some kind of for-runner for American's with disabilities in popular culture. I wonder if they ever explained how he lost his eye. Or maybe he just wears it because it looks cool.

lyan! said...

I bought some Big League Chew when I was in Sonoma, I bought it to kick-off Baseball season like it's 1985. I have yet to actually eat the gum. Maybe I'll do that tonight.

Want me to mail you some japanese gum? My favorite, Black Black, is disgusting but has both Caffeine and Nicotine


Kenny said...

Ryan, yes please! Japanese gum would be awesome in the gum basket, especially addictive gum.

Anonymous said...

My favorite Bazooka Joe comic is really morbid. In the first panel, Bazooka Joe asks Mort, "What kind of salmon don't swim upstream?" Mort says he doesn't know. In the second panel, Joe exclaims, "The dead ones!" and there is a picture of a dead fish with x's on his eyes.


Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.