Friday, October 27, 2006


All my life, I've been fortunate to be effortlessly skinny. Usually too skinny; scrawny and gangly even. The kind of kid that adults like to say needs to "get some meat on his bones," as if I had any control over that. As if I would obediently start overeating or making weight-gain milkshakes from GNC.

But the important thing about being skinny is that I've always been able to look at obese people and sympathetically shake my head with an unearned sense of superiority--you know, the way Aaron Sorkin looks at Everybody. I treasure my skinniness. As the touchy-feely types might say, it is part of my Identity. I swore that though my skinniness came easily, I would totally start exercising if my body threatened to become fat.

Well, now I am in my mid-twenties and I am no longer super-skinny. My metabolism appears to have slowed a bit and I have ballooned all the way up to a weight that is roughly Normal. I suppose I still look okay, although my features are perhaps not as chiseled as they once were. But things will not stay this way forever, and so I must develop a healthier lifestyle. This week, I resolved to become more active.

The problem with exercising is that you are sore the next day and cannot exercise. My solution to this is normally to allow a month or so for muscles to recover before assaulting them with exercise once more. One must start slow, after all. However, I get the feeling that it will be difficult to get an exercise regimen off the ground this way.

One major barrier to exercise, for myself and most people, is a lack of time. However, this week I have also discovered that exercise takes place in a sort of time warp. I am surprised that Einstein never did any work on this. Consider the theory of relativity. Now imagine that not exercising is like traveling at light speed and exercising is like staying put on Earth. When you are exercising, a period of time that might be empirically measured as "five minutes" is subjectively experienced as "half an hour." In other words, you can easily make time for half an hour of exercise a day. Or at least, what feels like half an hour of exercise a day. I say, when you break a sweat and begin to feel winded, you have earned the right to stop.

I am relying on the theory (my own) that the difference between No Exercise and Some Exercise is more important than the difference between Some Exercise and More Exercise. The important thing is that I am trying.


Steve said...

You should pick up a Gazelle. They're quiet enough to use while watching TV. And since you need to watch TV for professional purposes, you'd be productive in two ways at once! (Which leaves more time for video games.)

crystal said...

I am chubby, and yet I exericise all the time and am in pretty good shape and eat pretty healthily. Life never makes sense! When I was in college, I played no sports, never went to the gym and ate whatever I wanted. I lost 25 pounds.

lyan! said...

Another good way to go is to lose your driving ability and hafto bike to school for a solid month. The first week is alright, the second sucks, then in the third you start trancendance, then on the fourth you hit nirvana and you don't want to drive ever again.

Until you get your license. But then when you ride a bike, you're making a conscious decision to do it, which feels pretty awesome too.

Simon said...

We're in similar boats.

My main issue is because I never, ever, ever gain any weight, I don't ever feel compelled to work out, which is of course very unhealthy.

Perhaps one day my metabolism will slow down, but I'm not sure, since my dad is an inch taller than me, and only weighs a few pounds more than I do (read: he's 6 foot 1 and 150 pounds).

Anonymous said...



C said...

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Don't give in! Exercise kills.
Actually, I don't have anything against excercise, per say. Just exercise in public.

Anonymous said...

The same thing happened to me, but when I was 17. I had always been beany and then all of a sudden - not so much. Hopefully, you won't keep going up and up (as I did)

Tommaso Sciortino said...

I just hit 169 for the first time in my life so I assume I to am getting fatter.

I walk two miles everyday to work and back so that shoudl count for something.

tammy said...

you don't know how long i have waited for you to get fat.