Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Feed A Cold

Alas, while the day had its triumphs, it's also my second day of having a cold.

Stephanie and I both have it, and I suppose I should count my blessings, because it could be a lot worse. So far it's a simple head cold, with the sinus pressure and dazed heavy-headedness that goes along with that. In retrospect, it could have been a factor in the physical discomfort I felt while watching the Disney Channel's High School Musical. But probably not.

Today as I was getting in my car to head home, I noticed my steering wheel was not locked in its anti-theft position. (My car's steering wheel can lock so you can't turn it if you don't have the key.) It's not the first time I've forgotten to lock it, but today I was seized with the paranoia that my car had been tampered with. Indeed, not just tampered with, but booby-trapped. I worried that my car was now rigged with a bomb that might explode when I started the engine.

Rationally, I knew this was nonsense. I should just start the car and get it over with. But what if--? thought my paranoid inner voice. Just to be safe, I quickly made my peace with God. I stared at the dashboard. I still couldn't turn the key.

Should I check under the car? That would be silly, wouldn't it?

I couldn't stand it. I got out, got down on my knees, and looked under the car. Nothing. So far as I could tell. What was I looking for, anyway? If there was a bomb I would never recognize it. But there appeared to be no foreign objects.

I got back inside and prepared to start the car. I imagined myself bursting into flame. What would that be like, I wondered, to get blown up in a car? I couldn't really conceive of it, beyond getting consumed by flames.

I turned the key. The car did not blow up.

I think the cold is messing with my head.


lyan! said...

Even if someone tampered with your car, the likely hood of them leaving a very visible trace (a bump or something) of it under the car seems very sophmoric. I'm working on a device for your car that will let you start the car and drive it, but the second you hit freeway speed, the device engages, and if you were to drop your speed below, say, 60... KEANU!

Seriously though, KEANU! should become the new onomatopoeia for bomb.

Tommaso Sciortino said...

I don't think colds can trigger OCD. Thoguh it would be cool if they did.

C said...

I had panic moment once. I turned on my car and Paradise City was playing on the radio. "that's funny, I don't listen to radio stations that play that song. Has someone been in my car?" I thought. Then I thought, "oh I guess my battery died, and the radio reset-- wait, no, the car still starts".

Turns out, KROQ just started playing GNR. Freaked me out though