Monday, October 31, 2005

Prostitute Or Treat*

Hello, fair readers. I wish you a merry All Hallow's Eve, unless that is the Hallowe'en equivalent of Christmas Eve and therefore was actually last night. If it means what I think it does**, then see the first clause of the previous sentence. If I am in fact ignorant and wrong, well, it woudn't be the first time.

No, wait, it would.

Anyway, I felt it was incumbent upon me to post tonight, and you know what they say about incumbents: they have the advantage, unless they're horribly unpopular, assuming the challenger is a competent campaigner. But I'm not here to talk politics. I'm here to sit at home and blog on Hallowe'en night.

This is something of a tradition here at Herbie the Love Blog, one that goes back even further than our new tradition of misleading links. Take a stroll back through the archives for the past few months and take note of how many posts go up during the prime hours for Having a Life (i.e. Friday and Saturday nights). Having established a pattern, it seemed wrong to spend an uneventful Hallowe'en night at home and not do a bit of blogging to immortalize it.

What do you want to talk about? We can just do whatever.

Here are some post ideas I've had lately. Tell me what strikes your fancy and I'll blog about it!

Herbie: Fully Loaded on DVD: This post would offer my mostly positive thoughts on the DVD release of the hit film starring Lindsay Lohan. It would also review my still-evolving opinion of the film upon further repeat viewing. The post would discuss how I seemed to enjoy the film even more on the small screen, and raise the question of whether that is due to my history of watching Herbie movies exclusively on video or whether it is due to my getting used to and accepting Herbie's increased expressiveness (though "facial" expressions and sound effects).

Get Rich or Die Trying: This brief post would comment on the controversy stirring over the promotion of 50 Cent's film, and the charges that it promotes guns and gang violence among its target market of urban youths. The post would take a stance along the lines of this being nothing that 50 Cent's widely-listened music doesn't already do.

Chicken Little: This post, under consideration since I saw the underwhelming Chicken Little trailer at a Herbie: Fully Loaded theatrical showing way back in June, would evaluate Chicken Little's potential, or lack thereof, for reinvigorating Disney's animated feature department. It would also express my opinion that the characters' appearances are unappealing and dull, and that the prolonged "chicken dance" featured in the trailer I saw seemed a laborious attempt to manufacture a sensation.

On second thought, I no longer want to write any of these posts.

*Q: You know why they say "Trick or Treat?"
A: Because Hallowe'en is when women dress like prostitutes and have sex for money! Which is a treat. Get it?***

**I think it means the same thing as Halloween/Hallowe'en.

***That joke was rather inappropriate considering I found it on a popsicle**** stick.

****Although more understandable considering it was a popsicle shaped like a penis*****.

*****That was a very embarrassing popsicle to eat******.

******Which is why I threw it away and just kept the stick*******.

*******Okay, I didn't.


Tommaso Sciortino said...

I found this to be a very un-kenny post. I don't know why.

matt said...

It's un-Kenny because Kenny is a writer's writer, whose usual medium is language rather than form. The footnote gag is very po-mo.

As for your inquiries about the meanings of names for Halloween, I can provide no information, but I suggest you forget about all that Christianization and just call it Samhain (pronounced "SA-wen") like the Druids did.

lydia said...

I agree that the post felt rather un-Kenny-like.

Oooh! I know! THE POST is Kenny's Halloween costume!

Anonymous said...

Yeah dude. It's just like the "Menelaiad." Bullshit.