Thursday, August 11, 2005

The Toaster Is Trying To Kill Me

I used to be able to take bread out of the toaster.

The other day, the toast was too hot. It hurt.

Just now, I'm toasting a hamburger bun. It pops out of the toaster. I remove it and pivot my body toward my plate. My fingers involuntarily release the steaming hot bun, tossing it perfectly into the crevice between the refrigerator and the counter, also known as the Zone Where The Three-Second Rule Doth Not Apply.

I replace the tainted bottom half of the bun with a spare piece of ciabatta bread. This will make for a mismatched sandwich, but never mind. Again the bread scalds me, but fortunately this time I only drop it on the counter.

And the toaster smells like smoke. The fire kind. I unplug it.

The dial doesn't look like it's turned up. It's less than halfway up. How hot is this supposed to get?

Okay, I'm going to go finish making my salmon burger.


Zack said...

And the toaster smells like smoke. The fire kind.

As opposed to the hickory kind, what?

Did you actually interrupt the making of your burger to post this?

lydia said...

I hope so.

Hot off the toaster, Kenny News! And now back to our scheduled burger making...