Monday, May 09, 2005


Everyone's caught up in Star Wars fever, announcing times, dates, and theaters where they'll be seeing Episode III and inviting others to join in. I too am resigned to viewing the last of the Star Wars films, as part of my near-contractual obligation as a member of the moviegoing public. Best to get it over with sooner rather than later, so you can be disappointed along with the first wave.

You see, if you go a few weeks later, everyone else will already know that it sucks. But what are you going to do, not see it? You can't not see the biggest sucky movie event of the decade. Such were the circumstances in which I saw Episode I, and was actually pleasantly surprised--in other words, I was out of touch with the zeitgeist. I had been led to expect such a disaster that I was instead amused by what a joke it was. Conversely, I saw Episode II at the appointed time, and was appropriately revulsed, along with the rest of the country.

Occasionally, I've been wrong about seeing bad movies out of obligation to keep up with the public. Pearl Harbor, Jurassic Park III, and even Matrix Revolutions were ignored to a degree I had not expected. I'm pretty sure this won't happen with Episode III.

Here's the trouble: I'll be in Japan when Episode III comes out here, so I have no choice but to pass up the chance to view it with my friends and classmates. Stephanie and I discussed possibly seeing it in Japan, which would be cool, since the Japanese subtitles might distract us from Lucas' leaden dialogue and disastrously undramatic storytelling. But now I learn that Japan is one of two countries in the world that will not see Episode III on or around May 19th. They won't get it until July, by which time I'll be back here among disappointed first-wavers, trudging to the theaters for a movie that has already proven itself to be the last nail in the series' coffin, rather than the hoped-for hand-clawing-its-way-out-of-a-premature-grave.

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