Sunday, March 06, 2005

You Could Hump That Hood

I haven't mentioned yet how I'm in love with the new Ford Mustang. Some of you may remember that I've been anticipating it for some time, ever since I saw the concept version two years ago. Now they're on the streets and my heart goes pit-pat every time I see one.

I want one so bad. I know, they're barely better than an SUV in terms of fuel economy and practicality, but if you're going to selfishly despoil the earth I think this is way more worth it and at least you don't block people's view on the highway, overflow out of parking spaces, roll over if someone leans too far in one direction, or cause the unnecessary deaths of those in vehicles smaller than a tank. The mileage is 19/28 manual-19/25 auto, but I've read that it's a bit worse in reality as opposed to the Ford website.

They're gorgeous. All I've ever wanted from a Mustang was a modern version built to look like the classics from the late '60s, and finally they've realized there's no reason not to mimic that look as closely as possible. One old friend of mine claimed that the new Mustangs were bad, and that Ford was trying to make them look "European." I don't know where he gets that, unless by "European" he means "an auto design that doesn't look like ass," which is admittedly rare when it comes to American companies. But this is American a look as Mustang has had in thirty years, far and away the best Mustang since the fuel crisis of the seventies brought about the "Mustang II," basically an unrecognizable compact car with a horse on it.

After I get Stephanie her Mini, the Mustang is next in line.

*Post altered 3/14/05: Title changed from "F***er Only Runs Downhill" to the current title. New title is a quote from last week's Arrested Development episode, in which George Sr., the fugitive father currently hiding out in the attic, complains about never getting to go out. His son Michael points out that he saw him at the Ford dealership the other day. George Sr. replies: "Have you seen the new Ford Mustang? You could hump that hood!" Indeed. If I'd seen that episode before I wrote this post it would no doubt have been my title.


lyan! said...

I hate to say it, but I totally agree. Of course I don't want one still, but I'm happy this one looks like a good looking car versus the previous one which reminded me of those ghetto-rigged cars that look god-awful. I still think my favorite newer car of all time was the Mitsubishi Eclipse a few years ago, where I saw someone put a herbie-esque number on the door. It looked amazing with the number, and I wanted one from then on.
I think it's the number thing though.

Zack said...

I know this is a shock coming from a guy who can't legally drive, but I've never been into cars, except to the extent that they are robots in disguise. Specifically the model that Prowl turns into, some sort of early eighties Datsun, is the only car I've ever really fetishized, unless you count appealing novelties like the Mini, Beetle, and Delorean. I guess I like early eighties cars with retarded black slats in the rear windows. Huh. I'm perfectly comfortable with a less sexy car that is fuel efficient, safe, and comfortable. You know, hypothetically. If I drove.

matt said...

What's the censored word in the title? The only think I can think of is "fucker" but that doesn't make any sense.

Kenny said...

It is "fucker," which for some reason I felt was inappropriate for a headline, even though I've used it in posts. The initials of Fucker Only Runs Downhill spell F.O.R.D., so it's a derogatory joke used by people who don't like Fords. So, probably primarily Chevy fans who have Calvin peeing on the Ford logo on their rear windshields. You're right, it doesn't make sense with this post, since it's praising the Ford Mustang. Oh well.

Meli said...

I've also been doing car research online, and interestingly your Mustang gets worse city mileage than both the Honda CRV and the Toyota Highlander (both are 22/27).

Meli said...

I've also been doing car research online, and interestingly your Mustang gets worse city mileage than both the Honda CRV and the Toyota Highlander (both are 22/27).