In sixth grade our music teacher Mr. Aubel taught us this song, which seemed very risky and transgressive for something you hear in school. The fact that it was still from a teacher should have taught me that it wasn't as cool as I thought it was, but I still sung it enough times to remember all the lyrics thirteen years later.
(Sung to the tune of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen")
The restroom door said gentlemen so I just walked inside
As soon as I walked in there I'd been taken for a ride
I heard high voices turned and saw the place was occupied
By two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse
What could be worse
Than two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse?
The restroom door said gentlemen it must have been a gag
As soon as I walked in there I ran into some old hag
She sprayed me with a can of mace and slapped me with her bag
I could tell it just wouldn't be my day
What can I say?
It just wasn't turning out to be my day
The restroom door said gentlemen and I would like to find
The crummy little creep who had the nerve to switch the sign
'Cause I've got two black eyes and a high heel up my behind
Now I can't sit with comfort and joy
Boy oh boy
Now I'll never sit with comfort and joy
Thirteen years. I've just made myself feel sad and old.