Saturday, February 26, 2005

Heuristic Squelch Issue Review Second to Last – March 2005

Cover: Can You Spy the Magic Eye?
Excellent artwork. Clean, simple, bold. Funny gag, well told. This is Anthony Wu of the Spider-Man spread and the superhero piece of later this issue, right? Definitely a talent. I like his well-rendered comic-book style art. It’s not Derek Yu, but not everyone should be Derek Yu, and I daresay Wu’s dynamic style renders this action-packed destruction more effectively than Yu’s character/detail-heavy style would have. Also of note: The easily overlooked but very slick coloring job. The different shades on each car, adding depth and lighting effects, are very well done and clearly done by someone who know’s what he’s doing.

Questions: Why SWANK on the license plate? And, Magic Eye? It’s still a funny cover gag, but might this have seemed more timely eight years ago? Does anyone even still look at Magic Eye? Well, that’s okay, part of the fun of working on the Squelch is you can do horribly dated material if you want to and not worry about sales figures. Hey, here’s a scary thought. To me, Magic Eye is dated, but to current college students, is it considered childhood nostalgia, of a piece with Transformer and Turbo-Teen references? College freshmen today would have been ten-year-old elementary schoolers in Magic Eye’s heyday (as opposed to a sophisticated high-schooler like myself). So maybe this would fall into the “Hey, remember this old thing?” category. I’m an old, old man. No wonder I hate undergraduates so much.

So I printed this issue on scratch paper, but the problem with scratch paper is that my printer tends to grab about 3-5 sheets at a time and jam itself up, or print the top of one page on another page, things like that. So the top bit of my cover is cut off, and I lost the part where the “heuristic” does the cute little arch. What do you know? That looks pretty dang good.

Also, is the picture really a shark? I can kind of see it but I can’t tell. I can make out something that is kind of like a shark fin sticking up, but only if I look at it upside-down.

Page 2: WFTT
Okay. The inconsistent formatting bugs me. Why does the first entry not start with “Lesson:”? For that matter, the word “lesson” seems wrong. Maybe these should be “rules” or “guidelines” of making an enemies list. Where did these lessons come from? How can you learn a lesson before you’ve made the list? Or is this like, Loker’s the teacher, this piece is the class, here are the lessons? In that case, number them so it flows better. Like, “Lesson 1: Self reference is stupid.”

Regarding the ending: Self reference is stupid.

Other than the “lesson” thing making it hard to read, the piece is good. Sorry, I mean, “could have been good.”

Page 3: '70s Future
I like that this page isn't newsflashes anymore, but you’ve yet to put a piece here that makes me feel like my time was well-spent. A couple of these are okay, but this would be stronger if more (all) of them were actually based on pop-cultural tropes of the ‘70s. Stuff like ZAP and Jesus Returns are based on what, exactly?

Page 4: Newsflashes

Bush: Oh, literally a bush. Ha ha. Okay, next.

Bee and Allergic Man Killed in Murder-Suicide Pact: Very funny headline. Lackluster piece. The graphic detracts, if anything. The headline is hilarious, really, great concept. But the whole gag is there. All the big words, the dumb quotes spent fleshing it out only bore us until we forget how funny it was. Since you’ve thankfully left behind the Onion device of stand-alone headlines, this newsflash should have been as brief as you could possibly have made it.

Reverse Tsunami: There was a joke to be made on Southern California’s panic over its torrential rainfall, but this isn’t it. The tsunami reference seems calculated for shock value by making an absurdly disproportionate comparison. But it doesn’t play off the fact that a tsunami kills a hundred thousand people while Southern California rainfall damages ten rich people’s houses and makes bad drivers crash their cars. The joke in this situation is that people in LA are so soft they think a week of rain is a disaster, and in fact they are so soft, and their houses so precariously built, that a week of rain that would go unnoticed anywhere else really is a disaster. This reverse tsunami joke ignores what babies we are down here. The highlight is the attempt at textual illustration, but the piece still misses the mark. And Freedman’s dating a freshman. More power to him, if he can stand it. Did I mention how much I hate undergraduates? The contempt I had for high schoolers when I was in college has now been transferred to undergrads. They’re so—ugh—immature.

Woman Gets Rare Cancer: Funny idea, thankfully not overly spelled out. Any reason it’s Becky Johnson and not Lois Lane? Starting with some other woman makes the reveal that other staff members have been affected less funny, because we know he’s ogling non-Lois chicks right from the start.

Parent’s Request: Ho-hum, more Mexican slurs.

Pope Picture: Arguably also a top ten list, but since the picture is integral here, it elevates it beyond a StatShot rip-off. The picture is funny and the captions are funny, but having two gags playing off the Pope’s resemblance to a baby weakens the list. Both are funny independently, but putting them together suggests a dearth of ideas.

Man Gradually Replaced: A bit confusing. The first time I wondered why the guys had the same initials, making it hard to follow, because I thought that it would be about a guy improving himself, not being replaced by a literally different person. The piece never recovered. It’s a bit overwritten, too. Why include the phrase “when reached for comment,” for example? Isn’t that self-evident by the fact you have a quote?

Page 6: Mark Thomas Vs. The Internet
This is apparently part of a series that includes “Mark Thomas vs. the Waffle Iron” and “Matt Loker vs. Mario Lopez” (“Am I Cooler Than a Former Sitcom Star,” also retooled with Matt Soroky’s likeness for National Lampoon). I don’t think we really needed another trip to the well. The piece is okay, but feels very familiar. Also, the black boxes wasted tons of my ink.

Page 7: Pirate Battle
I’m not into hip-hop. I don’t enjoy much rap music. I don’t seek it out. I’m ignorant about popular artists, songs, and hip-hop culture at large. For a long time, that was okay. I fell comfortably into that wide strata of people who, asked their musical preferences, could say “Anything, except country and rap.” But now rap and hip-hop are so prominent, such a significant, major cultural force, their influence permeating not only other musical genres but society as a whole, that I wish I knew more. I wish I did enjoy rap, so I could join in the fun of making detailed rap references and having it be funny simply because I’m (part) Caucasian. Unfortunately, now I can’t get to that point without a lot of devoted study of music I still don’t like very much. Mainly, I wish I was familiar enough to write pieces like this. Even if I tried, it would come out like the pathetic “rap” music as depicted in, say, Archie comics, in this one early-‘90s story where all the kids are into “rap,” which apparently consists of saying everything in rhyming couplets. At best, I could perhaps manage a Beastie-Boys-style rhyme scheme, where the last word of each line is shouted in unison. In "Pirate Battle," Evan Winchester offers what, to my untrained ear, is a solid imitation of the complex, offbeat rhyme and near-rhyme schemes and improvised rhythms of freestyle rap, while integrating the pirate themes. Okay, so the pirate thing is a bit hackneyed, but this piece is solidly written. Only Lil’ John Silver’s second rap seems weak, but I may be reading it wrong.

Top tens are good, concepts and entries alike, except for the word “opaquely.” What the hell are you thinking?

Page 8: D. West
Is this a real person? Is D. West the guy’s name? Is there really a drill sergeant besides Full Metal Jacket’s R. Lee Ermey who has made a TV person out of a perpetually yelling army guy? That’s amazing. But I’ve never seen him, which makes this piece less fun. Based on this, I’m guessing he yells a lot. No, seriously, like, a lot.

Page 9: A New, Old-School Workplace
I’m tired of referencing the loss of dignity as though it were a tangible. That joke is played out. Ditto the “sense of value,” whatever that means. Also, in Interview Five, it should go “doctors who could,” not “doctors that could.” Joke constructions are technically sound, but I didn’t laugh at this piece. On the upside, I did jerk off to Interviews One and Four (and the end of Two), so that was hot. Damn, Melissa’s a stupid slut. She sucks that guy’s dick for like forever.

Spread: Autobiographical Yellow Pages
A very ambitious piece that’s also unusually dense with material, especially for a spread. I respect the work that went into it, although it’s often more clever than funny. A few of the entries are a bit forced and the “he writes the yellow pages” bit near the end does too little to explain why the Yellow Pages mirror the arc of this guy’s life. It might have been better to leave it completely unexplained. Overall, impressive.

Page 12: I, Roe-bot
Is it a robot or a computer? I guess, just a robot that runs Window and Windows-based applications. I’m not sure what the point of this piece is, other than a lot of computer jokes. I kind of liked the Battlebots reference.

Top Tens: Okay but underwhelming.

Page 13: Sven Bjolnir
The Girls entry: Why would he say “It helps that my daddy doesn’t own a mystical iron forge,” when he’s pissed about that? He should say something like, “Not everyone’s daddy owns…” Thor is the one who would say “It helps that my daddy...etc.” because it does help, you see?
The Drugs entry: Boo for the “not knowing what that could mean” self-reference. That could apply to anything in this whole piece.
Boring piece, overall, But at least it ends strong, on the raping and sacking joke.

Page 14: Superhero Jury
Great art. How many people will get the Vertigo reference? Incidentally, the Comics Code Authority doesn’t prohibit describing details of a crime. If the pictures were really gory you wouldn’t be able to show them, but that distinction is kind of muddled as written. It would be clearer to say “show explicit images” or something like that. The Batman/Bruce Wayne jokes are fun.

Page 15: Assisted Suicide
Assisted Suicide Girls is a very funny parody idea. The text is not that funny, but it props up the concept well enough, I guess.

Page 16: Bar Mitzvah
This piece was pretty funny and a good read. Clear concept, strong jokes, straightforward writing.

Page 17: Monkey Uprising
Helper monkeys have been played for laughs on The Simpsons and Malcolm in the Middle. Not judging, just saying. This piece is good enough, and the layout helps, but the biggest weakness is the unconvincing tone of the “news articles.” They suffer from the same not-quite-news feel of most second-rate newsflashes.

Page 18: Male Porn Star
Must all you guys spell “whoa” as “woah”? You’re misspelling it. It was charming when Allen Haim did it, but let’s not make it the house style. The piece? I didn’t like it. Either I’m getting tired of the multiple-scenario dialogue pieces, or maybe the ones this issue were just very mediocre. Probably the latter.

Page 19: Major T-Shirts
So you want to sell some T-shirts. One problem is that these lines are funnier when you read them all together. Some of these, like “Linguistics Majors Do Oral,” or “Those Who Do It With History Majors Are Doomed to Repeat It,” wouldn’t quite work right if you just saw one person with the shirt. Also, I don’t think the Statistics Major shirt needs the word “only.” Still, the shirts might be appealing to students because of the wide selection and the high degree of personalization, but here’s the other problem: The shirts are ugly. I dislike the oval and the ugly picture on each one. I wouldn’t wear a shirt with an ugly picture in a big oval. It looks like ass. Any one of these would be better with plain bold text and nothing else. Better yet, on a colored shirt, not a cheap white one. Also, can someone explain to me “Film Studies Majors Can’t Do It, But They Know How Other Guys Do”? Is that a joke on the lack of actual production classes?

Back Cover
It’s a separate file this time, so I didn’t print it out. I looked at it, but I don’t remember it. Take that for what it’s worth. I remember the jokes being okay, but the layout being really ugly.


Anonymous said...

For whatever reason, "woah" infuriates me so, so much. I could never tell if people spelled it that way just to mess with me and get a reaction, or if they really believed that was the right spelling.


Fred Taylor-Hochberg said...

Critique of Kenny's Critique

First of all, Mr. Byerly, when Sven said that it "helped that his dad didn't own a mystical iron forge," he was talking about the reasons why he did NOT have a magic hammer of his own. This makes perfect sense. The fact that Sven has no hammer is HELPED (actually, caused) by the fact that his dad has no iron forge. Bada-bing, bada-boom.

While we're on the subject, Thor would NEVER say something like, "It helps that my daddy. . ." etc. because this would definitely not be conducive to macking on the Valkyries. Last time I checked, men who try to impress women generally don't bring their dad into the conversation. Especially men who happen to be Norse gods.

Second of all, why make such a big deal about the wording of that one little phrase about the iron forge? Why split hairs over semantics? I'm sorry that you found the piece boring-I assure you, I tried my damndest to make it fun-but does a little turn of phrase like this really contribute or detract from the humor of the piece?

I think, instead of criticizing piddling little things like this, you should focus on writing more substantial and interesting critiques to this and other pieces. For example, you call the Top Tens on page 12 “Okay but underwhelming.” This does nothing to help us write a better, funnier magazine. It is mere criticism, not constructive criticism. To make it constructive you could elaborate on exactly WHY they were so underwhelming, instead of merely moving on and pointing out minor errors like the whoa vs. woah thing.

Which brings me, conveniently, to my next point. In my opinion, the word “whoa” is instantly recognizable to the reader when spelled both the right way (“whoa”) and the wrong way (“woah,”), so does it really matter? There’s plenty of stuff to worry about in the world already-I wouldn’t exactly place the spelling of “whoa” high on my list of priorities.

Just sayin’, is all.

Fred Taylor-Hochberg

Kenny said...

Hey Fred,

Sorry if that hurt your feelings. I don’t mean to demean the work you put into it, although it’s hard to avoid coming off that way. It’s not a bad piece, but not a good one either. My critique is my critique, nothing more. It’s a subjective opinion. I’m sure other people liked it. You seem like a solid talent and I expect you’ll continue to be a valuable source of material for the magazine. I get that “helped” means that his father’s lack of a forge contributed to his problem, but I maintain that it’s an incredibly awkward way to phrase something you’re upset about. “Hey, why do you get such bad grades?” “It helps that I’m an idiot.” Yeah, being an idiot is the cause, but is that really helping you? Do you and your friends talk like that? If so, then I’m sorry. To me it’s weird. I’ll grant you that it would be out of character for Thor. I hadn’t considered his underlying motivations.

Here’s why quibble with semantics and word choice: Comedy writers (like any writers) often labor over finding just the right word. Perfect wording can make the difference between a big laugh and a line that falls flat. In this case, anything that distracts the reader and throws off the flow of their reading disrupts the joke. If a reader has to work hard to read it, it won’t be as funny. You don’t want me to be thinking, consciously or subconsciously, “That was a weird sentence,” instead of laughing.

Also, I criticize piddling little things because they’re easier to correct. And, for the most part, there aren’t major things wrong with this issue, which is a good thing. So that leaves me little things.

I don’t think anything I could say about the Top Tens would make them any better or worse. Top Tens are hit-or-miss; you do the best with what you have, I’m just telling you whether I liked them. I told you when I didn’t like the word “opaquely.”

I hope some of my critique can be used constructively, but I make no claim that it’s all that way. It’s all subjective and I try to be as honest as possible.

Fred Taylor-Hochberg said...

Hey Kenny,

Let me start by saying that this did not at all hurt my feelings (but thanks for acknowledging the possibility). I know that humor is all about subjective opinion, and I've learned, over time, not to become emotionally attached to things I write. So, in short, critique away-I'm not offended, I merely disliked some of your methods of criticism.

I also want to say that if I came off as conceited or an asshole, I am sorry. I didn't intend my little essay to be at all bitter or resentful.


Eamon said...

Are you fucking kidding me, Fred? Semantics are all we've got! Why d'you think I take my copy-editing duties so seriously? For the money? For the women? For the fact that everyone on the magazine appreciates my ceaseless string of flawless judgment calls? Hells no. It's the semantics, baby.

Okay. The inconsistent formatting bugs me.Amen to that, Brother Kenny. That Words from the Top gave me a reverse orgasm.

Now everybody chill out and bow the fuck down to my website cleanup skillz.

- Eamon

Zack said...

Word choice, spelling, punctuation, sentence structure ... comedy is all about little things like that. "Woah" infuriates me too, so I guess that makes three of us.

Eamon, does "woah" exist in some 6th dimension that you can't see? How is it that you and your "flawless (sic) judgment calls" don't catch stuff like that?

Eamon said...

It's simple. Due to an unfortunate collision of circumstances, I no longer work on the magazine proper. I've made up for this by channeling 110% of my anal-retentive energy into the website. Boo-ya.

Simon said...

So much spilt blood over "woah."

Frankly I've always liked "woah" even though it's wrong because "wh" has weird connotations in my head, but I really don't care.

At this point though I plan to use nothing but the spelling "woah" all of next year just because it pisses people off so much. It's amusing to have people pulling their hair out over the positioning of an "h" and an "a."

Kenny said...

Smoni, I areeg. It's a mnori isues at bste.

Aaron said...

I think I was the one that typed "woah" into the piece because that's the way I like it. I've always felt "whoa" was phonetically awkward in some undefinable way. If nothing else, this demonstrates what a kick-ass team Simon and I will surely become. I mean kick-ass in the sense that we both like beating up women. God damn can Simon ever smack some bitches up. This one time, he shoved Morgan's head into an elevator and then knocked her down on the ground.


Oh, and I didn't think about it at the time, but I guess the version of the Comics Code we were looking at was the original version, because we quoted that line almost verbatum.

Kenny said...

That could well be the current comics code, and it's just not enforced strictly any more. Now it pretty much limits swear words and any explicit or graphic sex and violence, but you could probably get away with describing a crime of the nature mentioned if you didn't show it in detail.

On Whoa vs. Woah: Both are phonetically awkward. If you're looking for something that's spelled the way it sounds, you want "woe" or, for the breathier awe of the wh sound, "whoe." Unfortunately those are not an option. "Woah" suggests "wo-ah," which is even more phonetically undesireable. While "Whoa" is not much better, at least you can't break it into two syllables that make no sense together, and it least it doesn't make you a moron for using it.

Zack said...

The "undefinable" way in which "whoa" is wrong is your own retardedness.

Various reasons why "woah" is wrong:

1. etymology. "Whoa" comes to us from middle English "whoo". whoa -> woah is as retarded as library -> liberry by this measure.

2. frequency of use. 2.2 million for "whoa", 0.6 million for "woah".

3. Actual dictionaries. "Whoa" is present in both, and "woah" fails to be listed as even a variant, even in the notoriously wordslutty American Heritage.

4. Pronunciation by non-Californians. Many east-costers actually pronounce the h, as in other wh- words like "whorehouse" (which we do too) and "whaling" (which we don't). Well, they couldn't fucking pronounce it if it was THREE LETTERS AWAY!!!!!

5. Some minority of the population is just retarded. I met some guy today who thinks the Pig Latin version of "aardvark" is "dvarkaarday". Don't be that guy, Aaron.

Simon said...

"Whoa" is an interjection. What that means:
"Whoa" is a glorified onomatopoeia and doesn't deserve such allegiance.

If I had wanted my character to make the sound "wuhzuh!" or "wa-wa-what!" there wouldn't be one correct spelling. It's whatever conveys the sound I wanted him to make.



Zack said...

"Whoa" is not a fucking interjection. It is an equestrian command dating back HALF A FUCKING MILLENNIUM. It is used, figuratively, as an interjection, as if to say, "Slow down, Conversation. Things are getting a little tough for me, the figurative rider of this conversation, to handle."

Simon said...

I think you'd have to acknowledge a distinction between the word library and a sound made to stop a horse from vibrating your crotch to death. I can yell plenty of things at my cats, but gussying them up by calling them commands doesn't change anything.

Also, aren't we all discussing how it was used in this particular piece? Isn't it being used as an interjection in the piece? It's a glorified sound effect.

Cool down there Zack. The line between lovable pretension and asshole is a thin one.

Zack said...

Sorry if I got fired up. It is not a glorified sound effect, though. It is an actual word with an actual meaning. It is a particularly English word, which we know because it doesn't occur universally. It was a seemingly arbitrarily chosen sequence of sounds at one point, but that is true of words generally, outside of sound symbolism (like how many unrelated languages have "mother" words that start with an "M", or how certain sound clusters seem to be associated with particular meanings in a given language).

If you look at both the Miles O Dong piece and the Superhero Jury piece, you should be able to see that "whoa" does not have a random meaning. It clearly means "Hold on" or "Wait a minute", in no less real a way than "library" means "building with books that you check out". It is certainly not a glorified sound effect. It is an actual word, an actual part of speech, that takes complements like other actual words.

Crucially, it is not an onomatopoeia. It would be onomatopoeic for what, exactly? Itself? In that sense, all words are onomatopoeias.

I don't understand why this English word is somehow not a real word to you.

Simon said...

Whoa, appears to me, very similar to huh and eh and various words that are not very far away from pure sound.

Sort of like if in the middle of a conversation someone stops another person by making a sound like "bup bup bup bup bup." It has a clear meaning but it's not quite the same as library. I'll gladly admit whoa has a far richer history than "zuh?"

Anyway, you're right that the appropriate spelling for almost all situations would be "whoa," but when I write dialogue I basically write it as sounds and I could easily use some pinky and the brain expression like "troz" in the dialogue if the sound fit what I wanted the character to be saying. In this case whoa or woah both seemed fine to me because Aaron and I were just writing an interjecting sound.

Kenny said...

Simon, you are grasping at straws with incredible persistence. The thing is, "woah" doesn't express this supposedly made-up sound any more accurately than "whoa." Given this, why not go with what's established?

Maybe your neighbor built a great car in his backyard out of parts from the junkyard. It runs on gunpowder and nitroglycerin and it only took him ten years. You can get around town great on it, but why would you, when so many car companies have already built cars that work fine? The only difference between this metaphor and our situation is that the neighbor with the gunpowder junkmobile is quirkily appealing, and "woah" is just ign'ant.

The fact is, "whoa" is a word, however tenuous, that has been used long and often enough to have an established spelling, which you have chosen to ignore on a whim.

Plenty of onomatopoeia have established spellings, too, like "meow," "boom," "bang," "pow," "clang," "bop," "cluck," and so on and so on. Aside from throwing in some extra vowels for a prolonged instance ("Boooooom!!") you probably wouldn't mess with the spellings here. That's different than when you make up sounds like "ba-ba-bazoople-pa!"

Also, as for one of your examples, I would spell "Wa-wa-wa-what?" as "Wha-wha-wha-what?" So you are wrong again. Does it hurt to be wrong so much?

Simon said...

I ignored it because I like the way it looks better.

Have you learned nothing from various films in which the stodgy english professor and the ethnic hood clash only for both to realize that the other is in some way right?

Language is not stale and lying dead in a book, it's alive and in the streets!

Now dance with me, Editors Emeritus, dance with me!

P.S. Actually mew is also an accepted spelling for meow.

P.P.S. I'll spell hello with a 7 if it makes it sound and look the way I want it to.

P.P.P.S. The above dance with me joke is taken directly from Family Guy, as I would footnote if possible.

Zack said...

(20 comments. Is this a blog circle record?)

I asked Lydia to do me a favor today: at the library, she has access to the OED online, and she looked up the history of the word "whoa".

Originally, it came from the word "ho" (as in "Ho there" or "Land ho"). As for the meaning of "ho", my guess is that it was sort of a binary metal detector. "Ho" would be equivalent to "BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP!!!!"

"Ho" gave way to "who" (may be related to the question word), which gave way to "whoa". When a less popular variant spelling sprung up, it was "woa", among Brits who, like Californians, don't pronounce the "h" in the word. "Woah" is derivative of "woa"; it didn't come directly from "whoa".

ho -> who -> whoa ( -> woa -> woah)

Somewhere between "ho" and "whoa", the meaning shifted from "hey, a thing" to "stop".

"Mew" isn't an alternate spelling for "meow", exactly. It's an alternate rendition of the sound a cat makes. These, unlike "whoa", ARE onomatopoeic. The sound sequence in "whoa" is entirely arbitrary with respect to the action it refers to. Cat noises, by contrast, are rendered similarly cross-linguistically.

meow [mjaw]
nyaan [nja:n] (Japanese)

Interestingly, almost all languages imitate cats with a sequence of first a nasal (m or n), then a palatal approximant or vowel (y, i, e), then a back vowel (a, o, u).

It's crazy.Again, crucially, "whoa" is not an onomatopoeia. If it was, you would expect its counterparts in unrelated languages to be similar.

Whoa is not just an "interjection". It is not a random utterance, Simon. You didn't use it as a random utterance in the Superhero piece, despite your claim. Can you not see that? You use it as it is: as an intransitive verb meaning "stop". When Superman says "Woah woah woah", he means "Stop stop stop", right?

Kevin said...

This is great.

I stress again that in humor writing, it's important to stick to established convention in grammar and writing when the quirk is *not* a part of the joke. Readers are cued to pick up on unusual terms as leadins to the humor, and will just be confused by random and pointless non-standard spellings.

I see 'woah, woah, woah,' and I think, "what is supposed to be funny about Superman pronouncing 'whoa' oddly?"

Simon said...

Lot of free time there, huh Zach?

You've made some very good points about the word and its history and its spelling, and I guess they'd matter to me if I were an english major.

But since it bugs people and apparently distracts you all from the comedy (which is the best point that's been made from a humor writing standpoint), then fine, I pledge that you will never, ever see the word spelled in any way other than "whoa" in the squelch during the next 2 years.

Kenny said...

What about the "comedy writing notwithstanding, we're putting out a publication that we want to look as slick and competent as possible and don't want to look like illiterate grade-schoolers" standpoint?

Okay, I'm done kicking him while he's down.

Anonymous said...


Tell your girlfriends to call me when they get tired of not being satisfied by guys who are busy spending countless nights in front of the computer arguing about the very definition of pointless shit. I'll treat 'em right.