Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Trailers That Won't Call Into Question My Worth As An English Major

The teaser for Tim Burton's version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory exists, and should be viewed. It contains a bizarre, tremendously annoying new Willy Wonka song and snippets of Burtonesque visuals that suit the Chocolate Factory well. This promises to frighten children and delight recreational drug users well into the next generation, at which point the film will be remade again. Johnny Depp is equally appropriate, looking as unsettling as Gene Wilder did while making the role his own. The one piece of dialogue is a deliciously whacked-out line reading that marks the high point of the preview.

Another thing that exists is the teaser for Bewitched, which perhaps you should also view if you're in the mood to be mildly annoyed. It's one of those teasers with no real footage, and it's pretty lame. Nicole Kidman's hair is a mess, watching her do the nose twitch is depressing and just makes you yearn for Elizabeth Montgomery, and the mangled theme song is dispiriting. In a humorless gag, Will Ferrell as Darryl hangs from Samantha's broom. As if to mock how unfunny it is, Ferrell cries out, "I'm hanging from your broom!" which almost makes it funny, in the so-stupid-it's-funny way, but not quite. Though it is stupid enough to chuckle slightly.

Update: Apparently the broom joke was written by H.G. Wells. My bad.

3 comments:

matt said...

oh my god, that was the worst nose twitch i've ever seen. you're not supposed to use your whole goddamn face. it's like the way VICI use to wink on the first season of "small wonder" (she got the hang of it later on).

i wish nicole kidman would cool it with the pointless remakes and just play a lesbian already.

lydia said...

yeah, Nicole Kidman's mouth-twitch is lame. sigh. It's too bad. I really liked Bewitched, and she does kind of look the part.

I'm still not sure about Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka. I mean, I know he's Johnny Depp... but is he Gene Wilder? hmm.

Kevin said...

I wonder if anyone in our age group would be considering remakes like Bewitched if it wasn't for Nick-at-Nite's influence. Green Acres 2006, I await you.