Sunday, December 12, 2004

I Am A Moron

This is why reading sucks. It takes the wind out of your sails when you're trying to sound superior. If I don't read, no one else should either.

I could pretend that I did it on purpose to be funny, but I didn't. I have to take the hit on this one, it's unavoidable. However, let's remember a few things:

1) Some of the lines have been changed for the trailer, and the alterations do the writing no favors. Some of the changes are parts I complained about.

2) H.G. Wells' writing sounds very labored and stilted to a modern ear, and very pretentious when dropped into a trailer for a summer blockbuster. Maybe his shitty writing is why I don't read old books! Eh? Eh? Eh.

3) I need to read more.

4) At least I take down with me the commenters who praised the post, reveling in their own high opinion of themselves.

5) It did occur to me (or maybe it was Stephanie who raised the possibility) that the voice-over was derived from the Wells text, but I didn't bother to check before writing the rant.

6) Writing angry curse-filled rants on the Internet makes you sound like a moron, sometimes in more glaring ways than others.


Zack said...

I don't want to live in a world where H.G. Wells is a sacred cow. Whether the writing is Wells', Spielberg's, or some coked out intern's, if you think it's bad you ought to feel entitled to rip it apart. Be blunt, be vicious, be honest, be true.

I certainly don't want to feel like reading H. G. fucking Wells is any sort of requirement for literacy. Is he even any good? Not that I'd know, but I was under the impression that he was just the first guy on the block for time travel and aliens and stuff. You know, sort of like Turok (N64) was only popular because there wasn't an honestly good FPS on N64 until Goldeneye.

See how I can't make an analogy without mentioning videogames? Yeah, who needs to read more? That's right, not you. You need to insult old authors more. That's your job. Let me worry about the reading.

Tommaso Sciortino said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tommaso Sciortino said...

Kevin totally stole my thunder. I pointed out the HG Wells refernce via IM to him before he had even read your post. What good is being better than everybody if you can't take credit for everything?

HG Wells is all right. His work is a lot easier to read than other classics I can think of.

Cassie said...

All I have to say is that Wells' Morlocks scared the bejesus out of me as a kid. Little did I know that one decade later I'd be watching the 1960s adaptation in AP Physics and dreaming of that lusty, millenia-hopping Rod Taylor instead of solving for T. As for those Morlocks? Still scary.

Tommaso Sciortino said...

You're just proud you know how to use links in comments. Show off.

Anonymous said...

Eh, I think you should stand by your hate-filled rant. Something that works as the intro to a 19th century novel doesn't necessarily work as a voice over to a 21st century trailer. Also, the trailer cuts out the comparison to microscopic creatures, which is what tied the whole thing together.